I just stumbled on my autobiography from my senior year at UHS. It's been 10 years since I put this thing together (as was required by all 12th grade English students), and WOW!!! Wanna reminisce with me a bit?? Great!
So, the autobiography had to follow a format. The final chapter was titled "The Future" and asked several questions about where you thought you would be in ten years time, with fill in the blank responses. Well, my friends, that time has arrived...and admittedly my then-future and my now-present aren't really on the same page:
Ten years from now....(remember, this was 2001!)
I will be married (....ummm, and divorced?)
I will have one child (check! And I scored a jackpot with him-- he's the best!)
My occupation will be a journalist (I was pre-journalism my freshman year at WVU...changed to Psychology, which I LOVED-- but as you know am now pursuing my Master's in Education so I can assign senior English students things like this...)
My home will be in a safe community (I really didn't think I'd be in Morgantown, but I am actually quite glad to be here now-- and I really love my neighborhood and neighbors, so I would consider this a check!)
I'll earn enough money to be financially stable (I don't remember what I thought financially stable meant back then...right now I consider it to be having enough money to pay my bills, give some away, have some to save and have some to play. check!)
My most prized possession will be my faith in God (I remember this one being really tough for me-- there's nothing I valued then that I felt would be my most prized possession...any thing I had (and have) I want(ed) to be able to be willing to give it away. My faith in God was the one thing I wasn't willing to give away. And that's still very true today.
I'll spend my free time with my family (I'm so blessed-- not only do I have my kiddo as my sidekick, I also have my immediate family, extended family, and dear friends who have been through the muck with me so deep that I now consider them family--- and most people who know me could tell you that spending time with others is how I love to spend my free time. It makes my heart smile!)
I'll vacation in places I can barely pronounce (maybe one day ;) )
My summer home will be in the exact same location as my fall/winter/spring home (check!)
I'll spend most of my money on my family's needs (check!)
OK, so it didn't line up in some aspects. And some of it is kind of whatever (for example, I'm not really keen to spend tons of money to go on vacation-- I'm a thrifty girl by nature, so heading down to Myrtle Beach where I can stay with my sister is plenty vacation for me!... although I WOULD like to travel more eventually, I'm not at all sad about this one)
I think the biggest kicker is that I never (never never) thought I would be divorced at 28. And I think when things like that happen, at least when it happened to me -- I had to step back and admit that life can be messy. People are messy. I am messy. And when you're rolling on this kick like everybody's got their stuff together, it can take the wind out of your sails.
And it definitely took the wind out of my sails for a minute. But I think that's where I had to make a choice. I could choose to look at the crap, or I could choose to look at the beautiful. Life is full of both. And I think I've learned that what I plan for the future (either as a 12th grade English student or as an adult) sometimes has nothing to do with what the future has planned for me. And that can be intimidating/frustrating.
But I've also learned that it has been through the crap (or even just the unexpected) that my faith has been exercised the hardest, I have grown the most, and my joy has been increased in abundance.
So even though my future plans didn't pan out verbatim, I legitimately love my life right now. It is crazy; it is gogogogogogogogo; it is exhausting! But God has led me to a place where it is simultaneously beautiful, hilarious, and fulfilling. And that is an awesome thing!
As for the next ten years? Who knows?? I'm excited to see where God takes me! I'll just say this (from the quote on the front of my assignment): "I do not fear tomorrow, for I have already seen yesterday, and I love today."
Cheers!
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